Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts

Best Thing In My Life

Posted by Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens
Hi all,

I know I've been MIA. But sometimes you just need me time. Down time, so sorry. But happy 2012 everyone! This one is gonna be a good one! Something has been sitting on me about last year, and I wanted to share. Despite not being here much last year. it was a good year for me and I thought I'd mention some highlights...they'll put this year into perspective...

On 31st December 2010 at church a wrote a list of five things. Very specific, that I wanted to begin in my life. And as I get each of them I'll let you know on here. I prayed to God for them, and believed in him to answer my prayers.

One of the things I asked for was a permanent job by the end of 2011, paying a minimum of £30,000. Considering I was in my first job, post-masters, barely any experience, earning £21,000, in the middle of a recession, on a temporary contract, it seemed beyond far from where I was then. Plus I was due to be out of contract at the end of January 2011. The team was full, and my manager was advising me on where to apply for jobs at my level. Maybe earning slightly more. £24,000 including London weighting looked reasonable.

So following my prayer I started looking for jobs in the region of £27,000...ambitious for my level, but with London weighting of around £3,000, that would bump me up to £30,000...just about.

Then an AMAZING thing happened. Three positions opened up in my team. One at £21,000 and two at £32,000. My manager encouraged me to apply for the one at my level, I was doing well, practically in-post and pretty much guaranteed it.

I didn't apply for it. I applied for one of the £32,000 roles...and I got it. First choice candidate with the highest score in the interview and application. And I was expecting to get the job around December as I had put a time-cap on my very specific prayer...it came in MAY. Plus I get a travel allowance bonus. It's funny...I was scrapping around to JUST make the mark for what I had asked God for and he gave me just so much MORE!

Another prayer I prayed after having just broken up with my boyfriend was that I want to meet and know who my future husband would be by the end of the year. I started to date someone pretty soon in the new year who I had known since I was about 13...comfortable. He was nice, sweet, attentive and INTO ME. Like really. He seemed just so proud to be by my side. And he was God-fearing. PRAISE GOD.

But then something AWFUL happened...I just clean went off him. Like completely. For no apparent reason. And he tried everything, and he tried SO HARD, to keep it going. But it died. Just like that.

In the meantime I was still in contact with a couple of ex's (I must stress, this was NOT in any way other than as friends from a distance), including the one I broke up with in December 2010. One from a few years ago, who is in his early 30s starts talking about settling down. A few months later he's clear its me he wants to settle with and starts trying to make a play for me. Then someone else I was crushing on HARD in 2010 starts talking the settling down line...

But AMAZINGLY, I got back with this Ex from December 2010 (since blogging was SPARSE at the time, he has yet to be mentioned on here...). We didn't push our relationship. Or try to define it. After breaking up we went back to the basics of our friendship and it just seemed to grow from there. I never saw it coming. He just seemed to come out with it one day when we were talking, that he wants to be with me...and I just thought, yes. That was around April and we are STILL very happy together. Even more AMAZINGLY we both took it seriously, so much more than first time around. He is the first man to have ever been introduced to my family as my boyfriend and he has been very well received. And I have been invited to meet his family too...

And funnily enough, it has been easier this time. Which NEVER happens when you get back with an Ex. When we first got together I kind of saw him as a time filler. A nice guy but not the man of my dreams. I find it truly amazing that he seems to be everything I ever wanted. And not in the least who I expected him to be. I have never been happier.

THEN 30th December 2011, he PROPOSED. All of a sudden my mind flashes back to the prayer I made and I think 'Oh My Days, really?!'. Saying yes was the easiest thing I have ever done.

God gave me EVERYTHING last year, He is truly the best thing in my life. And all the good I have in my life can be traced right back to Him. 2011 was magical for me. And it looks set to continue.




I am TOTALLY psyched for 2012!!!!!


What did God do for you to psych you for 2012?
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Where I Wanna Be!

Posted by Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens
Hi everyone!!!

*big wave*

I've been on a bit of a hiatus--cough, cough *side eye*

Sorry about that, you know that one where life just gets away from ya? YEAH...that one.

It's been a crazy few months and I've careened from being overwhelmed, to being miserable and then back again.

It started with me having so much to do I was barely sleeping and writing for anything other than work was just a massive ask. Then that became my life and in the monotony I just had nothing to share. But after all these months, life seems to have slowed down enough to share.

So here I am.

Ready to share.

This is where I wanna be.

I've had time to think about my blog as well. Just take time, take stock and think, do I really wanna be sharing so much of me? When it comes to personal blogs, I know people get like this from time to time. And even with a semi-hidden identity, sometimes you just have to question the sense in sharing to the degree that I sometimes do. But, hey. This is ME. This is who I am. This is where I wanna be.

I've never been much of a shy girl and I'm not good at hiding me. In fact, I've always been proud of the fact that I am ME, regardless of my audience (though as a kid my mother would tear her hair out, she too has come to appreciate it!).

So, on balance I have decided to continue to do me on this blog. With one caveat. Call it a qualification, if you will...

When life requires me to take a pause--I will.

No apologies. No guilt.

Now don't get it twisted, I'm not tryna alienate my blog-friends. But when I started this, I didn't know you and I was doing it for me. I wanna keep doing this for me--with your support. This is where I wanna be.

Thank you for your support,
and keep reading! Because...


Love Alwayz,

Nsoromma...Child Of The Heavens

N.B. This title has me thinking an old song I used to love...and since sharing is caring. Enjoy Shade Sheist's Where I Wanna Be...



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A week at Wembley...

Posted by Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens
Hey all,

After the mad Monday that I posted about, the day was finally upon me, ENGLAND V. GHANA at Wembley Stadium with my Cuzzy. I probably should have posted when I got home from the match (was a 1-all draw btw), but I was so tired and hyped all in one I pretty much passed out!

Anyone who was there should be able to tell you that the evening was electric! I think England underestimated how much us Ghanaian's love our football because we BROUGHT IT! It was so much fun being in the almost carnival spirit, talking to anyone and everyone. Seeing Abigail, Priscilla, Gifty, Vida, Mame, Nana, Kay, and all the other bait Ghanaians with bait names who probably all live in Broadwater Farms, who you hadn't seen in a while. EPIC.

And the chants:

- *clap* *clap* *clap* AWAY! *clap* *clap* *clap* AWAY!
- We will score you, we will put PEPPER in your eyes!
- Ghana, Ghana, Ghana oseeeeeeeeeee yieeeeeeeeee!

EPIC.

I've always managed to miss the Ghana friendlies over here. But trust me I'll be ready for the next one!

So...I'd barely recovered from the nite of the football (despite taking the following day off work, lol, don't judge me!) and I was back at Wembley again! This time it was the arena, two days after the match to see Nas and Damian Marley in concert with Erykah Badu, with my girl from uni twice-over, Foreign Office Girl.

OHHHH MYYYY WORDDDD! Epic!

I can barely remember the last time that I went to a concert, but I know it was nothing compared to this! I'm not even a Junior Gong fan but kudos to him, he was genuinely mesmerising. The guy has a genuine gift for working the crowd.


So the night kicked of with Erykah who hasn't been here in a hot minutes (lol). And it was well worth the wait. She's as kooky as ever, her singing was interspersed with what can only be described as melodic screeching, she captivated me with her honeyed tones and as ever preaching that Hip Hop is apparently bigger than religion *pause*.


But then, THEN, what I'd be really waiting for Nas and Damian. Or rather let me be fair, I was waiting for NAS. I've been in love with this dude since I can remember. I own EVERY album, know all the songs in order and used to dream of him being my baby daddy. Yeah, I said it! My baby daddy! Lol!


He's still doing it for me boi! And he was so close I thought of fainting (but then I'd have missed vital seconds where I coulda been looking at him, so...no). He brought out the old school, with Got Urself a Gun, One Mic, Hate Me Now...wow. He's STILL got it! Clearly, I haven't got over that night yet...so just try and relive it with me through this post, while I fade off into silence and dream about Nasty Nas, hmmm....*sigh*

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Forever Friends

Posted by Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens


We've grown up
And grown apart--
But you'll always be
In my heart!

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Dear YOU...

Posted by Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens

For the first time in four years we actually spoke, REALLY spoke. For the first time in four years, your words were not like a slap in the face. For the first time in four years the conversation didn't end with me angry or in tears. It was a revelation; when you told me that I had hurt you. It wasn't soppy or cute, but one of those ones where you just kind of acknowledge that certain actions and words cut deeper than intended. I knew that, but I never thought you would say it. I actually had some insight into you. And I realised that I have missed you. Once upon a time, long long ago you were my friend, you were my rock, you were my confidant. It was like going back to the beginning, where we just spoke. There was no malice and no bitterness. You asked me things without an agenda and I answered almost freely. You gave me genuine advice and I detected no ulterior motives. If you ever read this, you'll know who you are. We were young and stupid and I'm sorry. Can we start over? I would really love to have my friend back.

Yours Sincerely,
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Still Dying; Soon Dead

Posted by Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens

A rose by any other name is still a rose;
And dead by any other measure is still dead.
When I needed you you were still eyeing daisies,
And I haven't forgotten--
As I gaze at our dead petals on the floor.

I've seen you look back in wonder,
You've seen the shrivelled stalk
Of our once majestic rose.
You see but you don't perceive;
You read but you do not comprehend.

Roses that seem dead need tending
But look closely and you'll find a cutting.
A small memory or connection between us.
If you replant it
And tend it, it will grow.

Never a replacement--
But hardy, it will grow and remind us
Of the need to tend our friendship
That it's never really dead if you catch it in time.

But you're still caught up in daisies--
Forgetting they are weeds
That come and go.
That multiply when you are not looking
That respond to their own requirements.

They'll never give you what that rose did.
And I see you glancing at those petals again
Blowing in the wind.
A word of warning to the wise,
Do not let them blow away,
By then your cutting will be impossible
And the flower will be dead.
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The Dead Flower of Friendship

Posted by Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens

We stare at its beauty
Its lingering haunting essence;
It consumes us.
But then suddenly in what feels like a flash
There is a jarring movement--
And all that remains in the surrounding grass
Is a sad lone stalk.
This pitiful headless flower,
Which once resided, peacefully,
Beautifully,
Effortless in its grace;
A head of perfect petals
With a core which links them companionably
And emits a sweet fragrance
Which we trust.
A few minutes ago I stroked those petals
And smelt that familiar smell
As i marvelled at its apparently solid core
Then you pushed past and snatched it away
In your eagerness to cherish it
You pulled too tight
And headless, its beauty fades.
You crushed its pretty petals brutally
What was sweet is now cloying.
I watch aghast, tears streaming
While you gaze at a neighbouring flower.
A different flower;
A pretty little daisy.
So enraptured are you with the new;
Not realising that many of the same are around;
You do not even notice
The crushed petals of our friendship
In the dead rose on the floor.
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A Devastated Nation: A Word On Haiti

Posted by Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens

Say a prayer for Haiti please!

What this one country has had to endure by itself is outside of enough. Since the 1990's and a whole heap of man-made problems, it seems every few years the country has to suffer some type of devastation. I'm watching the news and just crying. God, please help the people of Haiti!

I have never fully understood the wonder of social networking until now, seriously thank God, for Twitter, Facebook and Skype! Unlike what happened in New Orleans which still saddens me, it is at times like this that I am proud of the entire human race because there has been such an outpouring for these people even in these cash-strapped times. They need our prayer and our financial support too...

Prayers are free, but financially you can help in the following ways:
  1. Donate to UNICEF
  2. Donate to CARE
  3. Donate to Christian Aid
  4. US ONLY - Donate to 'Red Cross' via sms, text 'HAITI' to the International Red Cross @ 90999
  5. US ONLY - Donate to 'Yele Haiti' via sms, text 'YELE' to Yele Haiti's Earthquake Relief @ 501501
Other ways of helping found of facebook...

American Airlines taking doctors and nurses to Haiti for free!! Please call 212-697-9767 i /UPS IS SHIPPING ANYTHING TO HAITI UNDER 50LBS FOR FREE, PLEASE REPOST AND PASS THIS ON... / Plz help Haiti and pass this along...Red Cross needs CREOLE speaking volunteers for a 24-hr Phone Bank! Br. Wilford @ (305) 776-6900.......


LADIES, if you would like a MAKE FUFU NOT WAR T-shirt, hit up my boy Kayobi and 100% of proceeds go the help the relief effort in Haiti.

This song just reminded me that we need each other and where we can we should help one another.
'And the only thing that can save us now, is sensitivity, and compassion'...help us to help each other...


Thank you and God Bless xXx Nsoromma
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If You See Me On The Game With My Crew Believe I’m On My P’s & Q’s...

Posted by Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens
I was listening to a playlist I have named Uni Days and this Kano song popped up...

I thought ok my life aint like that of the talented Mr. Robinson but I can relate to having to be on my grind in a way dissimilar to many that surround me. You better believe it! Time waits for no (wo)man and I am no exception. Recently, I have been wallowing a bit and revelling in the blah-ness but the year is fast approaching it's climax and I don't want mine to be an anti-climax. I gotsta get back on my grind! So in the past week I have revamped the CV (yet again) to take account of my new activities, details of which will drop in 2010. I am so excited and absorbed in the new direction of my life, thank you God. I'm getting in contact with people I have met networking which is a bit scary but I am thinking it will certainly be worth it and I am filing out these applications like a pro. I'm not there yet but 2010 promises to be great!

Kano's song brings to mind a conversation I had a while back with a guy I know who had a million and one excuses for being a wasteman. These included coming from a deprived area (mate, we come from the same place) and the 'system' being against him. Errr, no. He just needed to get his mind out of the 'hustler', street mentality that was keeping him bound to a life going nowhere, and I told him so. Needless to say, that did not go down too well but he needed to hear it. His bad attitude will never get him anywhere. You work with the system, while understanding it and working within it, often you can change it and in the process become master of your own situation. Say your P's & Q's...pay your dues...do what you gotsta do.

Simples.

And my posse of good mates work with this attitude too, we got goals and places to be...Ms. Lawyerlady is ever onwards and upward bound...I believe that the house will soon come. My Sister From Another Mother is nearing the end of her degree and I am sooo proud. I think possibly some people have been pleasantly surprise but not I—I always had faith in her to see this through. Love her to bits! Fly-Ass Single Mama is gearing up to begin her master's with or without baby daddy help! And my sis is getting ready to walk down the aisle. Another lil' Mama, Friday's 'Fro is also making tracks and another good friend with a baby will be re-entering education armed with a solid career plan. 2010 should be big for Ms. Design, Sankofa and Afrocentric too.

No time for slacking in 2010. I love the fact that I don't roll with waste when there is honestly so much waste out there! I'm surrounded by a good set of people and we are all on our P's & Q's in order to get where we are going, believe that!

Image credits

n.b. 'Mind your p's and q's' is an English expression which means mind your manners/says you pleases and thank yous.
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Life Check

Posted by Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens

Hey people,

Sorry that I've been M.I.A. for while I've had a huge emotional and relationship drama recently. I don't intend to give you the full long-ass painful story right here (although that doesn't mean it won't come out anyway). Just know that I actually miss my little blog world, but life has been so hard that something had to give, and virtual friends was it (sorry!).

But I'm back now, so I'll be posting here and on Life...and Living It regularly again and keeping up with my blog friends, too. However, before I go, a question:

Why is it that life never hands out to the deserving what they deserve and gives the undeserving waaaay to many chances?

To my ex, who I know doesn't read this as he doesn't know it exists(!),

I loved you soooo much that just the thought of possibly being around you filled me with joy unspeakable. No man had ever made me feel so special or opened me up so completely. I trusted you even when everyone warned me not to and offered you my soul. I'm sure people have been hurt before and that I am neither the first nor the last to feel like this. But for some reason I feel so alone, when I think of what you did I feel physically ill. I rarely get through the day without thinking of you and how worthless you made me feel. Whenever I have a happy moment, behind it are shades of misery. I take sharp intakes of breath and double over in private when I remember you. I promised you I will never forget you, and I won't. But I hope to God that something happens to take away the pain I'm living with. You treated me to a life check. You made me pause and re-evaluate my life and myself. At first it was ugly; I hated myself and was willing to do whatever it took to change myself, not to be with you because I would never have you back, but to make myself into the kind of person who would never be treated so shabbily again. I contemplated things that have never even flitted through my mind before because of you and as much as it hurt me, I thank God I did. You treated me to a life check I will never forget. I will never be that girl again because of you.

I will never again be so young, so dumb, so naive, so gullible and so damn stupid. But the life check you gave me meant that I opened myself up to my friends, my true friends and after the self hate I came to appreciate the people I have in my life. You hurting me helped them to help me count my blessings. So I don't hate me anymore, so thank you. After all the crying, and self-loathing, and man-hating, dust and sackcloth music, I thank you. To my girls: Sankofa, Afrocentric and Friday's 'Fro...thank you for your support, my sister, my cousin, Ms. Lawyerlady, Ms. Design, Foneshop Boy, Dodgy Boy, Fly-Ass Single Mamma and everyone else who helped to pick the shattered shards of my self-esteem off the floor, I thank you.

This is a painful and long-ass process but I can see the other side. Already I have made some positive changes. It's all about perspective. I am a master's holding, house-owning, smart, forward-thinking, sexy, beautiful, blessed young woman with many good years ahead of me. And you just missed out on a DAMN GOOD thing. Keep walking partner, I wish you well. As Dodgy boy said of you, you were just a squatter tryna make a permanent home out of my palace. So now, be gone!

Goodbye,

Now to the blogosphere...I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! BTW, check out my girl's blog Rantings of a Manhater. I'm sure you'll like it!
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Being A Mate

Posted by Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens
Recently I have been a tad worried about the kind of friend I am. Situations and life in general have got me so that many people have been left behind and out of my life.

I read the article How to be a better friend on Deliciously Sunsational and it really set my mind to work. Am I the kind of friend I would want? I mean I'm far from perfect and striving to get there everyday but am I really doing enough? So I decided to look at what I want in a friend and see if I fit my own criteria..

1. Trustworthy - This is key...I mean who want's a friend that they can't trust. If I tell you something and I hear about it from someone else then obviously I am going to question our friendship (cue cries of 'how could she do that to me?'). It's a simple enough request but how many of us do this in reality. Sometimes we want perspective on something we have been told by our friend in order to give them better responses which is a fair point, but as a friend should you really be doing that? Other times, people use their 'friendship' with one person as gossip fodder and that can never be right.

2. Honest - I guess this goes hand in hand with being trustworthy, in that a dishonest person is never trustworthy but an honest one might be. Hmmmm...let's take a moment to ponder...A honest person can be untrustworthy??? Oh yes!! For instance I could tell you something which I would rather you didn't share but not put that stipulation on you (because I am assuming you have the common sense to know that I do not want you telling Sarah that I think her boyfriend is an ass even though he is ). When I later ask if it was you who told Sarah my view and you tell me yes then you're honest but cannot keep my business to yourself. Now before people get up in arms, I will happily say I have friends in this category. I prefer the honesty about an inability to keep your mouth shut to the staring deep into my eyes to tell me you would never do such a thing when you have. I have evidence on tape.

3. Available - Now call me needy, self-absorbed, whatever, but if you are supposed to be my friend then when I am rushed to hospital/lost my cat/broke up with my boyfriend/bored or otherwise need you, you don't just become unavailable. Hold on a sec, I'm not a brat, you have a life, I have a life and we both need to live them but the girl who never makes it out to my birthday, never come to see me in hospital and refused to hold my hand when my cat died is NOT my friend. Busy is understandable, permanently unavailable is not.

4. Supportive - Again ties in with emotional availability, I have friends who have been in different continents who have supported me through life better than those who live up the road and round the corner. Being supportive is knowing I have exams sending me an encouraging text and promising to see me for post-exams tears/drinks. The unsupportive friend demands that I come out to the rave her ex-boyfriend's, younger sister's, bestfriend's boyfriend is throwing and saying that failure to attend means the end of our friendship.

5. Brutal - Now that sounds plain wrong! But if my supposed best mate is sleeping with my man, my uncle is hitting on you or you know why my lecturer keeps failing me because my work sucks you must tell me. It's imperative and very, very scary but it has to be done. The people who have kindly and tactful told me the painful brutal truth are people who mean the world to me. Better put, the people who have withheld this kind of information are generally considered scum of the earth material.

Now do I fit these categories? True question, am I? I mean I want to be the model friend and I'd like to tell you that I am. But honestly, I don't believe that to be the case at all. I do fail at each of the stages I am afraid to say but to all myb firneds out there, old and new, I pray that I can work on this part of myself and become the best friend I can be.

Love you all,

Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens xXx

Image Credits

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