The Dead Flower of Friendship

We stare at its beauty

Its lingering haunting essence;

It consumes us.

But then suddenly in what feels like a flash

There is a jarring movement--

And all that remains in the surrounding grass

Is a sad lone stalk.

This pitiful headless flower,

Which once resided, peacefully,

Beautifully,

Effortless in its grace;

A head of perfect petals

With a core which links them companionably

And emits a sweet fragrance

Which we trust.

A few minutes ago I stroked those petals

And smelt that familiar smell

As i marvelled at its apparently solid core

Then you pushed past and snatched it away

In your eagerness to cherish it

You pulled too tight

And headless, its beauty fades.

You crushed its pretty petals brutally

What was sweet is now cloying.

I watch aghast, tears streaming

While you gaze at a neighbouring flower.

A different flower;

A pretty little daisy.

So enraptured are you with the new;

Not realising that many of the same are around;

You do not even notice

The crushed petals of our friendship

In the dead rose on the floor.

A Devastated Nation: A Word On Haiti

Say a prayer for Haiti please!

What this one country has had to endure by itself is outside of enough. Since the 1990's and a whole heap of man-made problems, it seems every few years the country has to suffer some type of devastation. I'm watching the news and just crying. God, please help the people of Haiti!

I have never fully understood the wonder of social networking until now, seriously thank God, for Twitter, Facebook and Skype! Unlike what happened in New Orleans which still saddens me, it is at times like this that I am proud of the entire human race because there has been such an outpouring for these people even in these cash-strapped times. They need our prayer and our financial support too...

Prayers are free, but financially you can help in the following ways:

1. Donate to UNICEF
2. Donate to CARE
3. Donate to Christian Aid
4. US ONLY - Donate to 'Red Cross' via sms, text 'HAITI' to the International Red Cross @ 90999
5. US ONLY - Donate to 'Yele Haiti' via sms, text 'YELE' to Yele Haiti's Earthquake Relief @ 501501

Other ways of helping found of facebook...

American Airlines taking doctors and nurses to Haiti for free!! Please call 212-697-9767 i /UPS IS SHIPPING ANYTHING TO HAITI UNDER 50LBS FOR FREE, PLEASE REPOST AND PASS THIS ON... / Plz help Haiti and pass this along...Red Cross needs CREOLE speaking volunteers for a 24-hr Phone Bank! Br. Wilford @ (305) 776-6900.......

LADIES, if you would like a MAKE FUFU NOT WAR T-shirt, hit up my boy Kayobi and 100% of proceeds go the help the relief effort in Haiti.

This song just reminded me that we need each other and where we can we should help one another.

'And the only thing that can save us now, is sensitivity, and compassion'...help us to help each other...

Thank you and God Bless xXx Nsoromma

Image credits

Project 2010

This refers to my goals for the year, I'm not really into resolutions as they are all a bit wishy-washy. But goals, goals indicate a real agenda, and when backed by vision and a plan, they make a brilliant combination. I dunno about you guys, but I always find New Year's goals particularly difficult to stick to as I loose impetus by mid-January, lol.

To combat my general lethergy (read: laziness) I started to make a plan and I intend to stick to it. Note to self: I really do need a diary for once in my life. So here are my goals and a little into my plans to achieve them.

A. Project debt-reduction
I have about £2600 in overdrafts, £250 in credit cards and £10,000 in Career Development Loan debt. I could go find my Student Loans Company and add that too but firstly, I do not earn enough for my deductions to have started yet. Secondly, in terms of looking at sorting myself this year this would be way down on the list, somwhere between 'impossible', 'I have run quite mad' and 'why should I give a hoot anyway?!'. Soooo, no. I think the best part of 13,000 is more than enough of a target.

I know compared to some, my debts are not that great and I am quite glad that I do not have loads of petty niggling debts but for me, this is a bloody mountain. Albeit it a surmountable one.

To get me started on my way to debt recovery a week ago I began to construct an excel spreadsheet which documents my current income and expenditure as well as my projected for the month. I'm quite proud of myself actually as it includes a weekly breakdown of expenses and it is quite realistic, including space for food, travel, bills, clothes and savings. As a politics and public policy graduate I spend my life writing and it is quite carthatic to complete a spreadsheet of calculations, while reminding myself I am not totally mathematically illiterate.

B. Project Re-employed
This title sounds slightly misleading since I am actually working. But to be perfectly honest I hate my job. Occasionally, I think I would rather sign on, they require the same amount of brain power. Until last year I could never understand how, or rather, why people get so upset about their jobs. You see up until last year I had only really suffered the pains of unemployment. But I discovered this past year what it feels like to be over-qualified and under-employed. It feels like crap. I think I spent a good chunk of last year being miserable about my employment status, so much so it came to a point where I said I was unemployed or refused to disclose the name of the company who happen to pay my wages. Lol.

But at church last week Pastor reminded my congregation to be thankful and basically actually recognise the blessings we have. Therefore, I recognise that I am blessed to be employed and able to pay my bills. HOWEVER, this year I am determined to progress from this point. By February I must have a new job and in order to get there I must be doing at least one application form and two CV/Cover letter applications a week. This is where the diary comes in handy. I need to break this down into a day-to-day thing in order to get this done. Also, my debt-free plan will work better in a high paid job, that gives me even more of an impetus.

C. Project Settle-Down
Lol! Interesting title, right? Well anyone who knows Nsoromma well will know that I am looking forward to being someone's missus someday in the not to distant future. However, that is not really what I am referring to! So don't get excited!

Whether I have a man in the picture or not, I am looking to round out my life in ways that I did not previously find interesting. I wanna really learn how to cook. Like a pro. Not just a Ghanaian pro, either. I wanna throwdown like a native Asian/African/European, whatever. I just now feel the need to get homely like that. I need to take better care of myself and think more about what I do so that when I am a wife and mother these things are not a burden.

It all links with my being eager to get a handle on my finances. It's mature and very necessary.

D. Project Volunteer
I've always had a soft spot for the idea of volunteering. I've basically been doing it since I was 16 in various ways. I believe you should give back to the community you came from in order to help improve your society. After all, you can't expect things to improve if YOU never do things to improve it. Last week I began to volunteer a few hours of my week to help with the admin work of my church office. Also, I am about to embark on a volunteering role for a young charity for asylum-seekers in a role I love. It's policy related!

E. Project Travel (like Ms. Lawyerlady!)
I do love Ms. Lawyerlady, even as she makes me sick! She's just about back after swanning off to Zimbabwe for a friends' wedding. In fact, my girl collects visas in her little red book like they are going for cheap. A little hobby of hers. But 2010 is my time to shine! Lol. I've not been out of the country at all in 6 years now. This must be rectified! Firstly, I know for certain that I'll be in Ghana this summer for my sisters' upcoming nuptuals. While there the ex wants me
to hop on over to Naija to visit. And just might do it. I'm going on a mini-break in February and my girl is arranging to go to Vegas in September. My deposit is already ready! Exciting days are ahead!

F. Project Get On The Road
Recently, I have been lamenting the fact that I cannot drive and do not have a car. So at the end of the month/early February I am booking a bulk of driving lessons. The sooner the better, having friends who live in the sticks in the opposite side of London is giving me a running cold and a serious lack of sleep. Transport links in South
London are soooo bad (I.e. We have no London Underground in SE!) And I'm fed up of being the last to get to places, late, and first to leave, last to arrive home. I spend half my life in the frigging cold. And in this Siberian weather I am distinctly unimpressed.

To work towards this I have begun a fund for a new car which either Foneshop boy or Dodgy boy are going to help me choose as I have zero useful knowledge of cars. Foneshop boy offered to help me save too but right now I'm not too impressed with him. But we'll save that for another post...

G. Project Stay Content
This is perhaps the most important project of all. While striving to improve my life I need to be positive and content. And the best way for me to do this has always been to stay close to my God. So that's what I'll do.

This year is gonna be a great guys. I hope it'll be as good for you.
I'll keep you updated on my goals periodically, so stay tuned.

Love ya!
Nsoromma...COTH xXx

Image credits

If You See Me On The Game With My Crew Believe I’m On My P’s & Q’s...

I was listening to a playlist I have named Uni Days and this Kano song popped up...

I thought ok my life aint like that of the talented Mr. Robinson but I can relate to having to be on my grind in a way dissimilar to many that surround me. You better believe it! Time waits for no (wo)man and I am no exception. Recently, I have been wallowing a bit and revelling in the blah-ness but the year is fast approaching it's climax and I don't want mine to be an anti-climax. I gotsta get back on my grind! So in the past week I have revamped the CV (yet again) to take account of my new activities, details of which will drop in 2010. I am so excited and absorbed in the new direction of my life, thank you God. I'm getting in contact with people I have met networking which is a bit scary but I am thinking it will certainly be worth it and I am filing out these applications like a pro. I'm not there yet but 2010 promises to be great!

Kano's song brings to mind a conversation I had a while back with a guy I know who had a million and one excuses for being a wasteman. These included coming from a deprived area (mate, we come from the same place) and the 'system' being against him. Errr, no. He just needed to get his mind out of the 'hustler', street mentality that was keeping him bound to a life going nowhere, and I told him so. Needless to say, that did not go down too well but he needed to hear it. His bad attitude will never get him anywhere. You work with the system, while understanding it and working within it, often you can change it and in the process become master of your own situation. Say your P's & Q's...pay your dues...do what you gotsta do.

Simples.

And my posse of good mates work with this attitude too, we got goals and places to be...Ms. Lawyerlady is ever onwards and upward bound...I believe that the house will soon come. My Sister From Another Mother is nearing the end of her degree and I am sooo proud. I think possibly some people have been pleasantly surprise but not I—I always had faith in her to see this through. Love her to bits! Fly-Ass Single Mama is gearing up to begin her master's with or without baby daddy help! And my sis is getting ready to walk down the aisle. Another lil' Mama, Friday's 'Fro is also making tracks and another good friend with a baby will be re-entering education armed with a solid career plan. 2010 should be big for Ms. Design, Sankofa and Afrocentric too.

No time for slacking in 2010. I love the fact that I don't roll with waste when there is honestly so much waste out there! I'm surrounded by a good set of people and we are all on our P's & Q's in order to get where we are going, believe that!

Image credits

n.b. 'Mind your p's and q's' is an English expression which means mind your manners/says you pleases and thank yous.