Ensuro Dɛn Ɔtamfo Bɛ Yɛ...

(tr: Do not fear what the enemy will do)

This morning I woke up feeling good with songs of praises and encouragement on my lips African (GH) stylie....

Christiana Love and Kwaku Gyasi - Mesuafre Awurade
I'm loving this song at the moment introduced to me by my girl Sankofa.

Christiana Love - Memma Me Wirenfi
This is also another current fav.

Ama Boahemaa - Awurade Woba Eko
The first (and so far only) time I went to GH, this was one of the gospel songs that was everywhere! I went out and bought the album I was so in love but Aunty Adwoa 'borrowed' it so all I have left is to listen to it on YouTube....

Esther Smith - Ensuro
I'm an Esther Smith fan for days!!!! This woman produces songs that call out to me. Love this one.

Esther Smith - Gye No Di
...And an-o-ther one! Great for worship time.

Esther Smith - Agyidifɔ Ataban
I told you I stan for this lady, this is my fav of all time!

Cindy Thompson - Awurade Kasa
This is a general Ghana gospel great song. You can feel the emotion in this song...she is singing speak to me Lord so my heart can be at rest....

Diana Antwi-Hamilton - Ensi Wo Yie

This is the Diana Hamilton who was my youth choir leader for a lil' while (when I used to inflict my voice on the poor people at FGT!). This was a wonderful day, Diana we need another one!

Kwaku Gyasi - Onyame Aseda Yebebree
This song is so upbeat...enjoy!

Midnight Crew - Igwe
Now for a little Naija flavour, to leave you on a high...you know ur lying if you don't like this song!

Have a blessed day people

xXx NsorommaCOTH
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My Silence

Here's some badly written poetry from my uni days....I'm feeling it today. Whaddya think?

It’s funny but I can’t even talk these days

All I do day by day is hide away

Inside I’m so withdrawn from things.

It’s the only way to stay safe from what life brings.

Something is broken deep down inside

Will it ever fix so I can fling my arms wide?

I want so badly to participate again

But if I’m hurt again will I recover from the pain?

Right now I feel like I’m barely able to breathe.

In this state mere tears is more than I can hope to achieve.

Am I weak Lord to feel like this,

When Jesus, the only righteous Lamb was betrayed with a kiss?

So is this my turn, my betrayal, from one I love?

To hurt me so true when I though he was the hand to my glove?

Or is it more like the trials of your servant Job,

His faith so strong the enemy though he tried couldn’t make him sob.

But am I failing because I weep within?

Is it the trials of faith or penance for sin?

I feel so low and unworthy before you,

Always you loved me but forever I couldn’t stay true.

I’m a failure Lord please forgive your child,

I’ve lost all urges I once had to be wild.

I pray that you’ll grant me your perfect peace,

So the pain will go; and the numbness cease.

By your side and in your will, I aim to depart never,

Because through you alone can I be a happy child forever.

I thank you for all you’ve done for me,

I’m so lucky that my Father you’ll always be!

Image credits

Being A Mate

Recently I have been a tad worried about the kind of friend I am. Situations and life in general have got me so that many people have been left behind and out of my life.

I read the article How to be a better friend on Deliciously Sunsational and it really set my mind to work. Am I the kind of friend I would want? I mean I'm far from perfect and striving to get there everyday but am I really doing enough? So I decided to look at what I want in a friend and see if I fit my own criteria..

1. Trustworthy - This is key...I mean who want's a friend that they can't trust. If I tell you something and I hear about it from someone else then obviously I am going to question our friendship (cue cries of 'how could she do that to me?'). It's a simple enough request but how many of us do this in reality. Sometimes we want perspective on something we have been told by our friend in order to give them better responses which is a fair point, but as a friend should you really be doing that? Other times, people use their 'friendship' with one person as gossip fodder and that can never be right.

2. Honest - I guess this goes hand in hand with being trustworthy, in that a dishonest person is never trustworthy but an honest one might be. Hmmmm...let's take a moment to ponder...A honest person can be untrustworthy??? Oh yes!! For instance I could tell you something which I would rather you didn't share but not put that stipulation on you (because I am assuming you have the common sense to know that I do not want you telling Sarah that I think her boyfriend is an ass even though he is ). When I later ask if it was you who told Sarah my view and you tell me yes then you're honest but cannot keep my business to yourself. Now before people get up in arms, I will happily say I have friends in this category. I prefer the honesty about an inability to keep your mouth shut to the staring deep into my eyes to tell me you would never do such a thing when you have. I have evidence on tape.

3. Available - Now call me needy, self-absorbed, whatever, but if you are supposed to be my friend then when I am rushed to hospital/lost my cat/broke up with my boyfriend/bored or otherwise need you, you don't just become unavailable. Hold on a sec, I'm not a brat, you have a life, I have a life and we both need to live them but the girl who never makes it out to my birthday, never come to see me in hospital and refused to hold my hand when my cat died is NOT my friend. Busy is understandable, permanently unavailable is not.

4. Supportive - Again ties in with emotional availability, I have friends who have been in different continents who have supported me through life better than those who live up the road and round the corner. Being supportive is knowing I have exams sending me an encouraging text and promising to see me for post-exams tears/drinks. The unsupportive friend demands that I come out to the rave her ex-boyfriend's, younger sister's, bestfriend's boyfriend is throwing and saying that failure to attend means the end of our friendship.

5. Brutal - Now that sounds plain wrong! But if my supposed best mate is sleeping with my man, my uncle is hitting on you or you know why my lecturer keeps failing me because my work sucks you must tell me. It's imperative and very, very scary but it has to be done. The people who have kindly and tactful told me the painful brutal truth are people who mean the world to me. Better put, the people who have withheld this kind of information are generally considered scum of the earth material.

Now do I fit these categories? True question, am I? I mean I want to be the model friend and I'd like to tell you that I am. But honestly, I don't believe that to be the case at all. I do fail at each of the stages I am afraid to say but to all myb firneds out there, old and new, I pray that I can work on this part of myself and become the best friend I can be.

Love you all,

Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens xXx

Image Credits

Something To Relieve the Blah-ness...

Hey people,

I know it's been a lil' while. I am still here with a million and one half finished blog posts to my name. I really must finish some of them but I'm feeling a bit...well...blah, for want of a better word. You know the feeling, where you have things to do, don't want to do them, generally melancholy for no genuine definable reason...it's just...blah. You know? Anyhoo, I've been jamming a lot to my music in this introverted period (which may in some part contribute to the blah-ness) and here's one from my cheerie 'summer' pile to keep you (and I) going and away from the blahs until I get on a finish these darn posts.

See ya soon,
N xXx
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Before you look at this, I know i'm wrong but last year on the way to church (OMD on the way to church not less...) I was sitting next to a lady and I caught a glimpse of her feet. Lordy, LORDY, would you cop a look at these bad boys! Her toes were hanging over the edge and talk about hard, dry flakes around her toes...ewwwwww! I resolved to myself then and there as I looked the other way and popped my phone out to take a silence snap that a footfile will be my BFF until I die!

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A Change Is Gon' Come...

Why is it people always try to convince you that a wealth of choices is a good thing. It is not! It is NOT! I feel like I've reached (yet another) critical juncture in my life, with many many choices and I don't know what to do! Here's what I do know (short list):
  1. I know I need a job (as in a proper one, the one I have at the moment sooooo doesn't count). I know I need to keep sending CV's and covering letters, filling out evil application forms and being open about networking my way into a job, but honestly I'm sick of it! I feel like I'm turning circles and getting nowhere.
  2. I know that I need to better organise my time. I never seem to have enough of it, I'm sick of forever running late and forever running low on the energy required to speed me up to catch-up in my own life!
  3. I know that I want to be with this dude. However, I'm not sure if it wise and I don't know how in HELL. I'm going to cope with the BMD (baby-mama drama) which seems sure to follow.
  4. I know that I need to work on my finances. But than that just sends me back into a stress about job hunting....pleeeeeeeeeease let's not go there again, yeah?
  5. I know that I want to work on my relationship with God. This is a no brainer for me I guess because I just have to do it...but then comes up the genuine, 'I have no time' which for some reason always sounds insincere. And I guess if I could become a little more organised...
Come to think of it if I sort out my relationship with God I'd probably be able to sort out all the rest, right? But honestly, it's all so very frustrating! I keep thinking that whatever decision I do make may end up shaping me for life. And that's a scary thought!


I'm such a saddo! Why? Because right now I'm just so darn happy. I mean as I sit here writing this, it's funny because I'm in a room with two other people watching BBC News 24, I'm doing exactly what I spent my 4-hour-shift doing....fantasising about HIM. I can't help it, maaaaaaaaan, I can't help it. But just thinking about him is making me smile. I feel relieved that I'm feeling something again. It's soooo sad but I feel hopeful, and happy again!

A Day of Epic Proportions

Today was a spectacular day. I did see this boy who had me all shaky. We spoke and cried and kissed and for the first time since we split up well over a year ago I realised what I had missed about him. He makes me laugh. He's sweet and caring and oh-so considerate when he's near me. Ok, ok, ok...let me stop there because I am well aware that I am waxing lyrical about this guy. Let me put my feet back on the ground and remember, he is a man and much as I care for him he is still fallable. But right now it's really hard for me to remember that. So bare with me.

But going back a bit in the day, he called me straight out of work and was like 'baby, I know how long it takes you to get ready sometimes so I'm giving you a head start. I'll be at yours to see you in about 20 minutes'. Ok, cool. That sent me into a full whirring mess, my room was a tip within 5 minutes trying to figure out what to wear and trying not to have my broad grin develop into a headache later on. My gosh, I was grinning HARD!

So in the middle of this my girl gives me her phone telling me someone wants to talk to me. WHO? I hear you cry. Another ex, in fact, the very one I was with between now and this first guy. It get's better. He tells me after approximately a minute-and-a-half of small talk that he wants my address as he is coming over so I should text it to him NOW. Before I can respond all I hear is a dial tone....

OH SHEEEEEEEEEEEEET! Tried calling back to convince him to reconsider his timing but I get a big fat no. He's coming with his mate who is close to my girl and they are determined. But...WAIT...it's get's even better. Both ex's arrive at approximately THE SAME TIME. I thought I was going to faint. I managed to keep them apart with quick thinking but now ex no. 2 is also in my head because I still like him and I missed him. But he seemed to miss me more and wants to 'reconnect', oh dear. But I want to see him too, oh dear. But I don't want him back but I'm not even sure that 'friendship' would work. But i'm in love with the first dude...grrrrrrrrrr.

Funnily enough, it's not like i'm confused about who I want to be with. It's just the timing of it all, it's kind of sad. Ex no. 2 may have had a chance on any other day and I don't even want to go through it with him as to why it's not going to happen again. I don't know how I would explain it. I never even explained why we broke up first time round and I'm pretty certain he doesn't know and wants an explanation.

Take it from me people, don't avoid these hard topics, they always come back to bite you! Pheeeeeeeew! What a day!

xXx Nsoromma...COTH

If you want to know more about the background of my love fiasco's both guys here are mentioned in this Life...and Living It post, can you work out which one is which?

Image credits: www.retroclipart.com/catalog/images/OhMyGosh.jpg

The Saga Continues...

Has anyone else ever thought that their life is just one great big saga of drama? No? NO?! So it's just me then? Oh dear, well if you follow or have had a look at Life...and Living It you will know that my love life is something pretty amazing! To cut a long tired story short my ex has recently had a baby with some chick (got her pregnant while we were broken up, grrrrrrrrrrr) and then even more recently sent me miserable by declaring his undying love (thoughts such as knife...pain...and heart come to mind), then even more recently he told me that he really wants to try again and I should think about it.

Hmmm...well I've thought and I decide that, yeah, I do want to be with him. I'm so scared though, I know everyone makes mistakes but I really hope this isn't one. So I'm meant to be seeing him this weekend...feeling nauseous, my heart is racing and my hand shake a bit every now and then...oooh wish me luck people!

Change Today

Here's a little something I wrote a couple years ago which is so relevant right now. I feel like my life was just at a cross roads but I've finally chosen a direction. Praise God!

Today, is the beginning of the rest of my life,

Today, is the day for change

No more wallowing in struggle and strife

My life I shall rearrange.

I’m not putting it off no more

TODAY! I shall begin

My ambition is not to be poor

I’ll be a wealthy woman within

To do this I need to fulfil myself

With deeper things than I do

I’m ready and willing and able to shelf

The silly things I go through

TODAY! I shall spring clean my mind

Changing my number without delay

No more uselessness in my life you’ll find

'Cuz my life re-starts today!

Today, is the beginning of the rest of my life

Today, is the day for change

No more wallowing in struggle and strife

My life I shall rearrange!

Allow Me To Introduce Myself....

Hi there, with some encouragement from my friends I've decided to embark on my first individual blog. For those of you who don't know me (and even those who do!), I'll just introduce myself...

I'm Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens a.k.a. Nsoromma...COTH a.k.a. Nsoromma and on lazy days just N. A twenty-something, graduate, UK born, of Ghanaian heritage, female potential world changer I guess I'm just adjusting into my place in this world and growing up (in my head I don't feel like my teens were that long ago!). I'll just be blogging about what I like to talk about sometimes that's relationships, sometimes politics, my faith, music, sports, tv, fashion and anything else that springs to mind. Looking for a forum on which I can express myself, seek, and offer advice. So I hope you enjoy my ramblings and get to know me (just a little, I'm not advertising for stalkers here-oo!).

Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens xXx
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