My Silence

Here's some badly written poetry from my uni days....I'm feeling it today. Whaddya think?

It’s funny but I can’t even talk these days

All I do day by day is hide away

Inside I’m so withdrawn from things.

It’s the only way to stay safe from what life brings.

Something is broken deep down inside

Will it ever fix so I can fling my arms wide?

I want so badly to participate again

But if I’m hurt again will I recover from the pain?

Right now I feel like I’m barely able to breathe.

In this state mere tears is more than I can hope to achieve.

Am I weak Lord to feel like this,

When Jesus, the only righteous Lamb was betrayed with a kiss?

So is this my turn, my betrayal, from one I love?

To hurt me so true when I though he was the hand to my glove?

Or is it more like the trials of your servant Job,

His faith so strong the enemy though he tried couldn’t make him sob.

But am I failing because I weep within?

Is it the trials of faith or penance for sin?

I feel so low and unworthy before you,

Always you loved me but forever I couldn’t stay true.

I’m a failure Lord please forgive your child,

I’ve lost all urges I once had to be wild.

I pray that you’ll grant me your perfect peace,

So the pain will go; and the numbness cease.

By your side and in your will, I aim to depart never,

Because through you alone can I be a happy child forever.

I thank you for all you’ve done for me,

I’m so lucky that my Father you’ll always be!

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