Since I wrote my last post my life has been a total whirlwind! But to re-cap, I handed in my notice at work at the end of last month. I was not happy. I needed a change, a push, something to bring me back to life. I stepped out on these feelings and decided to quit. Wrote a nice resignation letter to the boss and waited out my notice period. Funnily enough, the day I handed in my resignation was the same day I had quite a few application deadlines.
Anyhoo...about a week and a half later I get a call-back asking for an interview two days later! I immediately said yes, not even really realising what the job was for. But I did recognise that the end of that week would be my final day at work so I was still pushing for a new job (that ever-elusive career breakthrough role). I had two long back-to-back shifts in the two days before my interview and I started to get really worried that I would not have time to prepare. The day before the interview I worked til 10pm and got home near to 11:30. I was knackered and I had so much to do! I started panicking, called around for some interview advice to calm my nerves and then got stuck into my preparation in earnest. I hit the sack at 2.30am after a little 'God I've done all I can'; I just couldn't physically do anymore. My interview was for 10am and an hour-and-a-half away from where I live. This meant that, allowing for major calamities and time to settle my nerves, I needed to be out at 8am. Crap. And I was seriously lacking two nights worth of sleep. Double crap.
I woke up agitated and slightly nauseous. Oh and by the way my BB was in for repairs, so I didn't have the comfort of my phone to soothe me on my journey or to give me reminders to wake up, which was probably why I was so agitated when I woke up. At 7. After four-and-a-half hours sleep. Look I'm no Sankofa, I'm just not built for this. Anyhoo...I got there in good time. Prepared my answers and tried to will my palms to stop flowing rivers (it's so disgusting! I wish we still lived in an era when women wore gloves...). A nice lady takes me through to prepare for a presentation, 45 minutes prep for a 5 minute presentation. Crap, I didn't know about this. Nobody mentioned any presentation. I don't mind doing presentations but at least some forewarning! Crap, crap, crap, OH CRAP!
Ok, cool. Smile, shake hands, thank the nice lady. Crack a joke, make her smile. Now down to business. For the first 15 minutes I couldn't even understand the document I was reading. Calm down, start again. BREATHE. Ok, now I get it. No time to make use of the flip board. Just do it.
So I fumbled through the presentation. Smiled brightly where necessary. Answered all my questions. Didn't repeat examples, always used examples. Smiled some more. Looked all three panel members in the eye as I went along. Looked thoughtful. Clarified if I thought I sounded unclear. Didn't ramble (Yay for me! Because this is a particular habit of mine). Two small sips of water. Didn't fidget. Asked intelligent questions at the end. Was told that they would be in touch tomorrow. Smiled like a frigging simpleton. Shook hands firmly at the end (despite my sweaty hands *shudder*). Left the building. Pheeew!
Once I left I was nearly in tears. I just slumped at the bus stop for 20mins or so then made my way home. I felt horrible, exhausted and close to tears. I just kept thinking I hope my phone has arrived home by now, the only silver lining I could perceive. I got home to be greeted by my phone (yay!) and the anxious mother, oh joy. I muttered something unintelligible, skulked upstairs and crawled into bed. Fully clothed (minus the shoes). Had a good handful of texts and calls to see how it went. Ignored them nicely.
GO AWAY.
After sleep and food (up until this point I'd eaten nothing) I tried to gain some perspective. I could think of no one thing that should warrant my misery. I composed myself and prayed:
"Lord, if it is for me the let it be mine. If not then, I trust you."
I was a bit more upbeat after that. Misery does not become me. I shrugged it off and got on with life.
The following morning my brand new BB (Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!) woke me up with a private number call, in my best I'm-wide-awake-no-of-course-you-didn't-just-wake-me-up voice—I answered. The nice guy on the other end said he had just called to let me know that I had been selected for the role I went up for. Oh. That's nice. Pause. So, ummmmm, Nsoromma, would you like the job? Pause. Oh. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, yes! Needless to say, the rest of the convo was a blur. The rest of the day was a blur. Thank you God. The following day was my last day at the old job. Thank you, GOD! HELLO, ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT'S ME NSOROMMA, THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Called the fam, friends, Pastor and well wishers. This is my testimony. I said it was my moment, I believed it and it was.
THANK YOU GOD,
Love always,
So much this past month, and the past has tried to rear its ugly head. But I passed that test. I realised two days ago that certain areas of my past hold no sway anymore. And boy did THAT feel good! But it also alerted me to something. I dunno if anyone else has this, but do you ever feel notice that bad things from your past, things (or people) that block or ruin you path always show up around the time of your greatest successes and breakthroughs? Looking around me, looking inside me, I feel like great things are coming and I'm not about to let anything block this. Devil get behind me. This is MY time. This is my moment...
